Ever wondered what would happen if you stuck a DVD in the toaster?

Neither did I. But now I know.



Oh. My. Stars.

Let me pre-empt my story by saying that I DO try to be a good mommy. I believe in hand sanitizers, door locks, and plug protectors. But when my little Mr. Mischief strikes despite my best efforts, all I can say is thank you to the Watson family guardian angel--I couldn't do it without him. (His name is Ralph.)

Jeffrey and I were playing a game in the living room when Brandon woke up from his nap. I went to the baby's room, changed his diaper, and came back out. I was gone less than two minutes, so I swear this was premeditated on Jeffrey's part. When I walked out, I saw that Jeffrey had pulled our dining room chair over to the kitchen counter and was standing over our (normally unplugged) toaster. I said, "Jeffrey, what are you doing?"

"Hot dogs!" he said with a smile.

They were not hot dogs.

They were Walle and Up, our poor, faithful little DVDs. Be still, my heart.

So, I've heard of kids sticking cookies or bread in the VCR player, but the reverse, I think, is a new one.

By the way, the toaster came out totally unscathed. (Not to mention my apartment and my son.)

I have contemplated never going to the bathroom or grabbing Brandon from the crib by myself again, but that seems a little dramatic. So does nailing all of our chairs to the floor. And I would keep our toaster above the cabinets where it can only be reached by an adult standing on the kitchen counter--but that seems to create more accident possibilities then it solves. So I will keep brainstorming. In the meantime, I'm going to go read "What to Expect the Toddler Years" three or four times.

And Ralph--thanks a million. Feel free to stick around.

V-Day

For Valentine's Day, our church had a family dance. Now, Jeffrey is a dancing man. It is an almost-daily ritual for us to put on "Sing, Sing, Sing" and just go crazy. Brandon has some other skills to pick up before he can get to dancing, but the kid loves music. So we figured it would be a hit. And it was.

First of all, they had a cotton candy machine there, and a "candy snack bar". You can't go wrong with chocolate and sugar. Actually, we had to position ourselves on the other side of the room so Jeffrey wouldn't keep sneaking over to it. Secondly, we got to dress up. I haven't been able to do that in years! Everyone else came in jeans, but we didn't care. (We knew they probably would, and when Brian asked me what I was going to do, I told him it was MY Valentine's Day and I was going to look pretty, gosh-darn-it.) And we got to DANCE! We did swing dances, Shout, Thriller, Cotton Eyed Joe, the Hustle, Men in Black--all that good stuff. We polka-d around the room, to general applause. My favorite part was the last dance, where Brian and I slow-danced as Brandon chewed on my hair and Jeffrey hugged his Daddy's knees.

It may not sound all that romantic. But I wouldn't have had it any other way.

Global Warming, My Eye

It has been a cooooooold winter in Dallas. Ok, nothing like Chicago or New York, obviously, but still--cold for these parts. A couple weeks ago, we had 9 inches of snow in one day--the most Dallas has ever had! So, Brian worked from home, and during his lunch break, we PLAYED.

Net results:

• Fun family bonding
• Great memories, with pictures to boot
• A discovery for Brian that he can live in Texas and still have snow (just once every ten years or so)
• A reaffirmation for Steph that, despite the fun, she doesn't miss snowy winters in the slightest
• An afternoon of gloriously long naps